Post by Jo Ann Montgomery on Mar 16, 2008 20:44:46 GMT -5
Don't know if I can tell this as well as Bill Engvall, but he did a great one about an old sailing ship.
Back in the 1880s, there was this big sailing ship out on the ocean. One day, the man in the crow's nest yelled down, "Enemy ship off the port bow!"
The captain turned to his assistant and said, "Bring me my red shirt." The assistant is puzzled, but does so.
The battle goes on all day, and not one sailor is killed. Later, the assistant comes up the the captain, and asks:
"Before the battle, you asked for your red shirt. Why I red shirt?"
"Because," the captain said, "If we are in battle, and I am shot, the men will not see the blood, and they will fight on."
"That's awesome," the assistant replies, impressed.
The next day, the man in the crow's nest yells down, "Twenty enemy ships off the port bow!"
The captain commanded, "Bring me my brown pants!"
*~*~*
How about this one, also from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. This one is from Ron White.
There was this magician that worked on a cruise ship. The captain would attend every show, but he had a parrot. This parrot knew the magician's routine, and would give the tricks away:
"BRrrrack! He's got it in his sock! Brrrrack! It's under the table!" etc.
Well, the magician hated this bird, and one night, when the parrot gave away his trick, the magician took out a pistol and shot at the bird. The parrot ducked and the bullet hit a propane tank and blew the ship up. The only survivors were the magician and the parrot.
After a moment, the parrot says, "Okay, I give up. Where's the ship?"
Okay, Ron told it better than I did, but that's the joke, pretty much.
(Of the two, I prefer the joke about the red shirt and brown pants...)
Back in the 1880s, there was this big sailing ship out on the ocean. One day, the man in the crow's nest yelled down, "Enemy ship off the port bow!"
The captain turned to his assistant and said, "Bring me my red shirt." The assistant is puzzled, but does so.
The battle goes on all day, and not one sailor is killed. Later, the assistant comes up the the captain, and asks:
"Before the battle, you asked for your red shirt. Why I red shirt?"
"Because," the captain said, "If we are in battle, and I am shot, the men will not see the blood, and they will fight on."
"That's awesome," the assistant replies, impressed.
The next day, the man in the crow's nest yells down, "Twenty enemy ships off the port bow!"
The captain commanded, "Bring me my brown pants!"
*~*~*
How about this one, also from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. This one is from Ron White.
There was this magician that worked on a cruise ship. The captain would attend every show, but he had a parrot. This parrot knew the magician's routine, and would give the tricks away:
"BRrrrack! He's got it in his sock! Brrrrack! It's under the table!" etc.
Well, the magician hated this bird, and one night, when the parrot gave away his trick, the magician took out a pistol and shot at the bird. The parrot ducked and the bullet hit a propane tank and blew the ship up. The only survivors were the magician and the parrot.
After a moment, the parrot says, "Okay, I give up. Where's the ship?"
Okay, Ron told it better than I did, but that's the joke, pretty much.
(Of the two, I prefer the joke about the red shirt and brown pants...)